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And Then There Was the Word: A column about our language: Here Lies My First Column for 2010

Sidney Berger, Ph.D.

Issue date: 2/4/10 Section: Features
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"Here lies poor old

Jake McGee.

"He did not see the 4:03." (That is, he got run over by a train.)

The tomb of a dentist supposedly had this stone verse: "Gaze upon my tomb with gravity, / For I am filling my last cavity."

The well known British author Ben Jonson is supposed to have written an epitaph for his friend: "On the twenty-second of June / Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune."

By the way, the word "epitaph" comes from two Greek words (epi and taph) meaning over a tomb. The word made its way into Latin to mean "a funeral oration," since it was a bunch of words said over a tomb. But then, coming through French, the word made it to English to mean words over a tomb, or, more specifically, "words on a stone or slab of wood over a tomb."

Supposedly in a Falkirk, England, cemetery one can find this one:

Here under this sod

and under these trees

Is buried the body

of Solomon Pease,

But here in this hole lies

only his pod;

His soul is shelled and

gone to God.

If you believe that that is a real one, then maybe you'll believe that this one is real too, on the tombstone of a pedestrian:

This is the grave

of Mike O'Day

Who died maintaining

his right of way.

His right was clear,

his will was strong,

But he's just as dead

as if he'd been wrong.

This is an especially appropriate warning for anyone living in Boston, where pedestrians seem to have no rights, drivers seem to follow no rules, and for motorists, red lights are just suggestions.

Never averse to seizing on an opportunity, a French woman put the following on her husbandís grave:

"Here lies Pierre Cobachard, grocer. His inconsolable widow dedicates this monument to his memory, and continues the same business at the old stand, 167 Rue Mouffetard."

And lest the French think they have a monopoly on advertising, look at this one purportedly from a cemetery in Lincoln, Maine: "Sacred to the memory of Jared Bates, who died, Aug. the 6th, 1800. His Widow, aged 24, lives at 7 Elm Street, has every qualification for a good wife, and yearns to be comforted."
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